Christians are straight up FREAKS
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
