MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
