my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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