You really coming over, don't trick.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
