I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My breasts were aching with rage.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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