Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
