I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
