The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
BRING THE BAGELS
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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