WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's just like the Real World with babies
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
