You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Randomize
