I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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