how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
