I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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