ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
