Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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