I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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