As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My vagina is officially offended.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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