Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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