Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
