i wish my penis had a tongue
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Semen is not good for contacts.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
