Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
