So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
