so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
