i was born a porn star she said
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
