i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
