so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
