i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He better not be in your backpack
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
