We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
