She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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