In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Houston, we have a blender
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
