i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
