yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
