I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
