yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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