How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
