That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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