Say something about gay babies.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
