Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
bring money and cleavage
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
