apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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