She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
