Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
