I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
