is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
