I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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