There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
