office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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