I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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