Capitaan dildo arrescate!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
