he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
