I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just had sex bonerless
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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